Time passed by... so fast?

Didn't realize that it's almost 2 years I've written anything other than process documents and my resume'.

I didn't realize I came down to this alien land almost an year back. Still feel like vodka-salma agha songs - kabab nights were yesterday only. Maggie in front of office.. with a cup of tea for lunch still lingers. How I with to get caught again boozing on Oct 2..

Perhaps the later part of 2009 was the only time in my life when I 'cherished my present' rather than day-dream about the past.

Now the question is, can I go back to Delhi and live my life the way I used to.? I guess not. Things have changed a lot in the last one year. The last of my old friends have been lured into marriage. Few that remain are waiting... Who would I hang out with? Gone are those days when I was self-sufficient and happy being a loner. Now I'm dependent on others to company me; to be with me; talk to me; appreciate me.

Probably that's preciously the reason I stopped writing. How can I THINK (and write) anything if I don't spend time with just myself. My days of solitude are lost (for good? Donno still)

One thing is certain. I regret having changed so much.. Now I'm jealous of my past-self. This is not how I envisioned myself. I was a free bird with an open mind, experimenting with everything, making mistakes everyday. Now I'm a fat pig sitting 12 hrs every day in front of this screen, working and worrying about the next escalation.

Is this change reversible? Can I get my gone-self back? Let's see...