My Point of View

Finally back from India 2 weeks back.. I thought I'll be rejuvenated and will have added vigor to work. Turns out, I was completely wrong. I've lost all interest in work. I can now sense the futility of all that I'm doing. Clearly I'm struck up in a life I'm not very fond of. I think its time to discover something challenging and new for myself. Firstly, I'll have to figure out a way to get rid of this place. I feel lonely. No friends or family. Being lonely, even heaven can be boring. Secondly, I'll have to improve my lifestyle. A little bit of discipline should do the trick. Early to bed early to rise, vegan food and lot of exercise. Let's see how much I can manage.

Chilling out over the weekend. It's 2:00 am in the night and I should have been to bed by now. Wonder if 2 days of weekend is good enough for me! Anyway, I seem to be in a good mood. Don't know why or how, but it feels real good. Feels kinda puppy love. Feels as if I never had any thing to worry in life. Feels like I'm in a 70's hindi movie. Feel like falling in love again. Yup... falling in love but not BEING in love. That hurts. In fact in retrospection, I think Love is always so popular because of the sense of 'adventure' that comes along with 'trying' to fall in love with someone. Ones you have confessed and have received an affirmative response, rest of the journey gets pretty boring (and most times plain PAINFUL). That's the reason, that guys go to any extent to get his girl. That's the time he's at the peak of his romanticism. Ones he gets his girl; in no time he gets bored, starts feeling as if he's loosing his own space, misses h...

Few days back I worked on something absolutely crucial. The sad part is, I did the work when I was in no mood of working (who wants to work over a weekend?). Today that lousy work boomeranged. It's interesting. When I was doing the work, everything looked (pretty) okay. Obviously I did not correctly assess the lousiness of the work. The desire to complete the task was so immense that I was blind to the finer aspects of the task. This is what happens when the damped mind gets to work.. Lesson: Never try to do important things when you are in no mood to do it. You are sure to fuck it up. To take that statement on step further, one should work only when in mood to work.. Hmm... interesting. I'm supposed to re-do the work. I hope my MOOD is favorable this time. Anyway.... 4 days of holiday coming up. I think it should be good enough to freshen up my mind.

Didn't realize that it's almost 2 years I've written anything other than process documents and my resume'. I didn't realize I came down to this alien land almost an year back. Still feel like vodka-salma agha songs - kabab nights were yesterday only. Maggie in front of office.. with a cup of tea for lunch still lingers. How I with to get caught again boozing on Oct 2.. Perhaps the later part of 2009 was the only time in my life when I 'cherished my present' rather than day-dream about the past. Now the question is, can I go back to Delhi and live my life the way I used to.? I guess not. Things have changed a lot in the last one year. The last of my old friends have been lured into marriage. Few that remain are waiting... Who would I hang out with? Gone are those days when I was self-sufficient and happy being a loner. Now I'm dependent on others to company me; to be with me; talk to me; appreciate me. Probably that's preciously the reason I stopped w...