When love fails
I went off to sleep in the night after a few pegs of Whiskey. Tossed and turned like like omlettee on a frying pan but all in vein; figured out I was not ready to sleep. Old memories kept on flashing inside my head. Memories have this bizzare' habit of visiting my head without a prior notice. But this time it was slightly different. I was not thinking about one person in perticular..Flashes from my childhood, from by graduation days affairs from my past affair and my wife kept haunting me. All the bad memories kept comming but I was not getting sad by any standards. I was haunted, teased and tricked within, but no sign of sadness...
Now love has an uncanny way of fiddling with your thought process.. sometimes you feel sad thinking about all the good things that happened in love. Sometimes you smile on how someone you loved so dearly shattered you.. and like yesterday night, how all the bad things that your loved ones did to you leaves you with absolutely no feelings atall.
Well, the way I look at it is that LOVE, in it's purest form, can give you no happiness and no pain. It is just a feeling: an inert feeling. It is like experiencing early morning sunrise. You just feel good looking at the Sun; a "feel good" sensation. Sunrise donot give you joy or fun. It neither gives you pain or agony. It just clenses your soul. Same with Love. Unadulterated love gives you nothing more than rejuvination of your soul.
Unfortunately, Pure love is as rare as Uranium 235 (and trust me, it's as lethal too!!!)
What we experience in our lives with our family, friends, girlfriends, husband / wifes is love in it's adulterated form. Love in it's raw form is generally adulterated with desires. The type of desire defines the nature of love. You adulterate love with lust and ego and you get feelings for your love for your wife / girlfriend / husband / boyfriend. You adulterate love with companionship, you get feelings for siblings and friends. You adulterate love with belongingness and you get love for parents and family. You adulterate love with identity and you get feelings for your country(men), society, group etc... All is adulterations. Nothing pure about what we feel for anybody or anything.
Now trouble starts when those adulterations in love donot get satisfied.. Like if your friends start avoiding you, you feel bad.. you develop hatred. Because your desire for companionship is not getting fulfilled, you stop loving them. Love evaporates and the desire takes the front seat. Your desires not getting met, rages a negative feeling and you develop hatered. Your mind and soul starts generating negative vibes. Now love is very delicate. It cannot co-exist with negative vibes. It eventually evaporates (whatever minimal %age existed initially).
If you observe closely, you'll find lot more "love for thy nation" among citizens of developed countries than under-developed countries. I mean an American loves America more than an Afgan loving Afganistan!!. Reason is very simple. Both american and the afgan needs has a desire for identity. American is getting the desire met.. but the Afgan donot have that luxury. His country makes him feel ashamed. They both are no different. They both are mixing love for their country with their desires. Hence some point in time both are bound to get hurt although the American is getting happiness being an American.
Love in it's PUREST form can not possibiliy give you any happiness. Hence it can neither give you any pain. It just gives you feel good factor.
The day you start loving someone/something without adulterating it with desires you'll be able to see the blissfullness of love. You'll find that the "feel good" refered to in here is actually more potent that any thing you've every seen / felt in life. The "feel good" is actually the Nirvana.
In the state of pure love, you'll always have the ecastic feeling no matter what happens. No action will hurt you or make you happy. Your awareness will always be high and your love will never change no matter what. The loved ones may come to you or go away or berate you or ditch you, you will always be in a blissful state.. always smiling always ready to be there in need.
Because you have no desired in Pure love, your ego also gets killed with your desires, and you become pure, unadulterated and always in the state of blissfullness. You will always have a calm but warm feeling in your personna, you will glow in your own aura of blissfullness.. and it will be visible to the whole world. And no matter what anybody says about you, you will be loved by all.
You see.. Love is always been reciprocated with love... Now i don't know if the reciprocated love will be pure or not!!! :)
I guess all the haunting memories wanted me to understand where I went wrong. I always had desires from my relationships. Hence, when things didn't go well, the memories kept knocking my head.. They probably wanted me to understand where I went wrong. And now that I've realized that love should not be adulterated with any desires I wonder if others to get this kind of realization.....?
Now love has an uncanny way of fiddling with your thought process.. sometimes you feel sad thinking about all the good things that happened in love. Sometimes you smile on how someone you loved so dearly shattered you.. and like yesterday night, how all the bad things that your loved ones did to you leaves you with absolutely no feelings atall.
Well, the way I look at it is that LOVE, in it's purest form, can give you no happiness and no pain. It is just a feeling: an inert feeling. It is like experiencing early morning sunrise. You just feel good looking at the Sun; a "feel good" sensation. Sunrise donot give you joy or fun. It neither gives you pain or agony. It just clenses your soul. Same with Love. Unadulterated love gives you nothing more than rejuvination of your soul.
Unfortunately, Pure love is as rare as Uranium 235 (and trust me, it's as lethal too!!!)
What we experience in our lives with our family, friends, girlfriends, husband / wifes is love in it's adulterated form. Love in it's raw form is generally adulterated with desires. The type of desire defines the nature of love. You adulterate love with lust and ego and you get feelings for your love for your wife / girlfriend / husband / boyfriend. You adulterate love with companionship, you get feelings for siblings and friends. You adulterate love with belongingness and you get love for parents and family. You adulterate love with identity and you get feelings for your country(men), society, group etc... All is adulterations. Nothing pure about what we feel for anybody or anything.
Now trouble starts when those adulterations in love donot get satisfied.. Like if your friends start avoiding you, you feel bad.. you develop hatred. Because your desire for companionship is not getting fulfilled, you stop loving them. Love evaporates and the desire takes the front seat. Your desires not getting met, rages a negative feeling and you develop hatered. Your mind and soul starts generating negative vibes. Now love is very delicate. It cannot co-exist with negative vibes. It eventually evaporates (whatever minimal %age existed initially).
If you observe closely, you'll find lot more "love for thy nation" among citizens of developed countries than under-developed countries. I mean an American loves America more than an Afgan loving Afganistan!!. Reason is very simple. Both american and the afgan needs has a desire for identity. American is getting the desire met.. but the Afgan donot have that luxury. His country makes him feel ashamed. They both are no different. They both are mixing love for their country with their desires. Hence some point in time both are bound to get hurt although the American is getting happiness being an American.
Love in it's PUREST form can not possibiliy give you any happiness. Hence it can neither give you any pain. It just gives you feel good factor.
The day you start loving someone/something without adulterating it with desires you'll be able to see the blissfullness of love. You'll find that the "feel good" refered to in here is actually more potent that any thing you've every seen / felt in life. The "feel good" is actually the Nirvana.
In the state of pure love, you'll always have the ecastic feeling no matter what happens. No action will hurt you or make you happy. Your awareness will always be high and your love will never change no matter what. The loved ones may come to you or go away or berate you or ditch you, you will always be in a blissful state.. always smiling always ready to be there in need.
Because you have no desired in Pure love, your ego also gets killed with your desires, and you become pure, unadulterated and always in the state of blissfullness. You will always have a calm but warm feeling in your personna, you will glow in your own aura of blissfullness.. and it will be visible to the whole world. And no matter what anybody says about you, you will be loved by all.
You see.. Love is always been reciprocated with love... Now i don't know if the reciprocated love will be pure or not!!! :)
I guess all the haunting memories wanted me to understand where I went wrong. I always had desires from my relationships. Hence, when things didn't go well, the memories kept knocking my head.. They probably wanted me to understand where I went wrong. And now that I've realized that love should not be adulterated with any desires I wonder if others to get this kind of realization.....?
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