Mein aur Meri Patni

Now that I'm gettin' married, I don't feel like working anymore. Not that I am too exited about the wedding. Just the fact that another life's getting hooked on to me is kinda funny. Look at me.. I'm a 27 yrs old guy, who loves to experiment with life; lands up in some trouble almost every quater; thinks that first person shooter games revolutionalized IT; feels that nothing in this concrete jungle is worth the pain it takes to achieve them.

I'm someone who can be a good entertainer, good friend, good boy-friend, but NEVER a good husband. Reason: well I'm too much of an experimenter with life. Post marriage, a man looses his freedom to do ANYTHING.

Here is a checklist of what's gonna happen when I try talking to her...

Me: Hey, Why don't we go to the Great Indian Rock this weekend... Bilkul mast hoga!!!
Wife: They are absurd, and I don't even know how to head-bang.. Let's go out for a movie..

Me: You go and sleep, I gotta check my orkut and reply to the scraps...
Wife: Why did you ever got married to me???

Me: What do we have for dinner sweetheart???
Wife: I think we should go out for dinner on the marriage annerversary..
Me: But we got married last month only...
Wife: Ya... exactly one month of marriage..

Me: There is a beautiful place in Himachal called "Lahaul" I guess we should........
Wife: What about the microwave oven and the pressure cooker and the curtains we were supposed to buy...
Me: We can buy them before the weekend.. How long can that take???
Wife: You don't know anything about shopping...

Me: Aaj rat mera daru party hai... will be late.
Wife: Mein bhi chaloongi. Najane daru pe ke kya kya karte ho...

Me: Ammm....By the way, What do think about pot!!!
Wife: I love pot.. I can paint them too.. Let's buy a few of them for the balcony.
Me: Paint them????? Ohhhh... ya sure. Why not..

Me: Hey... Let's have a dog..
Wife: Hey... Let's have a child.

Wife: Quit smoking or I leave you forever..
Me: REALLY :) ..Sorry... REALLY :(

Wife: You said before marriage that you would love to date married females..
Me: Ammm... When ??? Ohh yes.. I did..
Wife: Then let's go out on a date to the Taj.. A candle light dinner maybe???

Wife: {Not talking}
Me: What happened...
Wife: {Not talking}
Me: Are you angry?
Wife: {Not talking}
Me: Atleast tell me what's wrong???
Wife: {Not talking}
Me: Yaaar... your silence is killing me.. Don't add to my tension.
Wife: {Not talking}
Me: Okay.. then don't talk...
Wife: {she starts talking...}
After 180 mins...
Me: Please STOP for God's Sake..

Me: {in the market} Uhhh.. What a babe....
Me: Ohh... I'm sorry..
Me: I didn't mean that... Actually....
Wife: Don't talk to me.

Wife: Why does your friends drop-in every weekend..
Me: Because they are....
Wife: Awara dost hain sare.. No descency

Wife: Your mother is really annoying me now-a-days.
Me: Why?? What happened.
Wife: She said "Beta can you make the chapattis?" As if I'm a maid servant here...

Wife: Your mother is really annoying me now-a-days.
Me: Why?? What happened.
Wife: She said "Beta I'll make the chapattis?" As if I don't know how to make them...

Wife: Do you love me..
Me: Do I have an option??? ;)
{I regret for not buying a comfortable sofa}

Wife: Do you love me...
Me: Yes Why???
Wife: No I was just wondering... {followed a silent expression of annoyance}
Me: No I mean I really love you..
Wife: You don't sound like.
Me: GOD... Why me???

Wife: Do you love me...
Me: No. Not anymore...
Mother-in-law: Why is my daughter crying...

Wife: Do you love me...
Me: What do you want to hear?
Wife: The truth...

Wife: Why is your shirt smelling of ladies perfume???
Me: ????? What???
Neighbours: Anubhav, It's late and we are trying to sleep.


The list is endless...

All I know is that I'm destined to the Doom's Day...